Belonging and difference

A probably apocryphal Quaker story tells of a visiting Friend arriving at a meeting house he had not been to before for worship on a Sunday. Finding it empty, he sat down and waited in silence. Eventually a local friend arrived who came straight up to the visitor and said, 'Friend, thee is sitting in my place'!

Many of us find difficulty in facing change. The way a meeting house is arranged and the way Quaker faith is expressed have both changed over time. There have always been those who find it difficult if not impossible to let go of what has gone before. In my local meeting I always sit in the same place and acknowledge that I find change difficult, but in spite of this there are ways in which I have changed.

I believe that in order to go forward we need to share our experience, to look at what is important to us and to be ready to share it with others - to give an account of the hope that is in us [I Peter 3:15] and in each individual. It may not be the same hope or it may be expressed in different words but we need to speak and listen rather than keep silent for fear of hurting or offending others.

The Bible quotation goes on to advise us to do this with 'gentleness and respect' and that is vital too. Telling our own truth and hearing other people's cannot happen if we denigrate others or dismiss their position as wrong. It can be painful to hear another view which makes it all the more necessary to hear it with love.

I have written before about the pain that being labelled can give. I have had difficulty in working through the feelings that experience raised in me but recently I found in a friend's [@bookgeekrelg] tweet a helpful Credo that I can use wholeheartedly for myself - and wish I could have used back then. 'I believe in God but probably not the God that you don't believe in'.

In true community we must try to balance acceptance and love with the need to find more people-like-us to be with and beware of turning away those we perceive as different, asking them to give up their seats if we feel that the comfortable way we always do things is threatened.

New Beginnings

Ironbridge at Ewenbridge by Eric Ravilious

Well here I am at the end of 2012 and I'm shocked to see that I have written nothing on this blog all year! This has been a year of waiting for something to happen - specifically for our house to sell enabling us to move Up North to Skipton. Everything has taken longer than expected, there have been several disappointments on the way and life has often seemed on hold. With a new year I hope that the move will go ahead at last and we can start on the next stage of our lives.

Looking back though this blog has never just been about my own life. I have made various attempts to write regularly, most of which have failed, but as my New Year's resolution for 2013 I am going to try again. I am inspired by an idea which my friend Rhiannon Grant shared on Facebook and will be writing a Quaker Alphabet here once a week. I will devote two weeks to each letter and post about one concept related to Quakerism and one Quaker person past or present each week, which according to my maths should take me, and anyone who wants to follow me, through the year. I don't yet know what form the posts will take but I will try to add pictures to each one too.

I hope that I can keep up with my good intentions this time!

Bloggers block and thoughts on how to go forward

I have gone forward, not as one travelling in a road cast up and well prepared, but as a man walking through a miry place, in which there are stones here and there safe to step on, but so situated that one step being taken, time is necessary to see where to step next.
                                                             John Woolman's Journal

This quotation came into my mind at Meeting yesterday and the more I have thought about it the more I see how accurately it reflects my experience this year.

Six months ago when I wrote my last post - and I can hardly believe it was that long ago - I was full of good intentions and was intent on making a new start at writing regularly. I even started another blog for craft-related thoughts but that too I have neglected for six months. In February I thought that I was starting out on 'a road cast up and well prepared' but I have found myself instead in 'a miry place' and I got stuck in the mud!  

The year so far has been busy in many ways but I have not been allowing myself enough time to pause and reflect and think about what I might write here. I think, now that Woolman has helped me to look back, that much of my malaise stems from being prevented from going to America in April, where I planned to attend the QUIP [Quakers Uniting in Publications] conference and do some historical research, by the Icelandic volcanic ash cloud. That was my miry place and although I have gone on with my many activities as usual, mentally I have remained stuck in it.

But gradually, and especially in the last couple of months, I have found 'stones here and there safe to step on' and have been feeling more positive. I put a lot of energy into organising a party for family and local friends to celebrate the amazing fact that Chris and I have been married for 40 years. I spent weeks tidying up the house and garden and the whole family helped with the catering and pulled together on the day. In spite of some rain it was a really happy occasion and wonderful to have all three children and their partners there and for me to at last really see them all as adults.

I have kept in touch with the world through Facebook, sharing photographs, comments and frequent status updates, but that is not the same as writing here. I have, although not perhaps consciously, needed time to see where to go next. Now is the moment to take a few more hesitant steps towards unblocking this blog.

Fare forward voyager

I have been putting together a book of contacts - mostly Quakers - for my sons which I hope will be a help for them on their year-long jouney round the world. On Sunday I will give it to them and say goodbye. I know that we will be in touch through email, Facebook and even this blog, but of course I will miss them. I am glad that they are going on this adventure and I expect it will be the beginning of a new phase in their lives and perhaps in mine, but it is hard not to worry.

On Monday my husband and I are going on a journey too - to America for nearly 3 weeks. Our main reason for going is to attend the QUIP [Quakers Uniting in Publications] conference in North Carolina but we are having a holiday too and going to Chicago, Cleveland and New York. I have to admit that I am worrying about this too. Partly this is my usual anxiety about flying but there are also difficult issues to be addressed at the conference and as the recording clerk I feel partly responsible. The changing face of Quaker publications means that our organisation will have to change too and I know that change can be difficult. On the other hand of course it can be liberating and even exciting. I will report back here later!

One part of the conference I am really looking forward to is a panel on Quaker blogging with Robin M and Will Taber which I am moderating. It will be great to meet with some of the bloggers I have encountered through their writing face to face and to talk about all things blog. One of the questions I would like to explore is why it seems there are so many more American Quaker bloggers than British and European ones. It is such a pity that I could not persuade another British blogger to attend.

Yesterday I was copying out more of Mary Waterhouse's diary when I came upon this passage -

"I have frequently thought lately that I must make mention of the mercy shewn me in being, as I trust, less anxious than I used to be. When a careful thought comes over me – anxiety about any one or anything, it is often turned into a prayer, before it resolves itself into a care. For this surely I may say 'Bless the Lord O my soul! & forget not all His benefits'."

Yet again this voice from the past speaks to my present condition and I will try to emulate her if I can.